Well - first and foremost I discover that fondue is (contrary to what I initially thought) not just a block of cheddar whacked in a pan and melted with a bucketload of plonk to water it down and liven it up and get you pissed enough to stop caring that you're eating enough fat to literally increase your bum size from TopShop to Evans in one meal sitting. There is actually a special cheese blend (the 40 Swiss Francs blend as I now know it..) and a special 'art' to this creation of bubbling gooey heart-attack in a pan.
The initial taste of a roasted mushroom dipped into the heavenly mixture rendered me speechless (not least because my throat was filled with a viscous liquid that was rapidly solidifying and blocking my airway), with a taste that was simply divine. So much so that once I'd resucitated myself with a hybrid move combining a self administered Heimlich maneoevre with a bird-like regurgitation reflex (which I felt I managed to do quite stealthily in the company of guests!), I went straight in for the next dip, and the next and the next and the next....all washed down with a giant glass of red, thank you very much...
When I finally managed to get up from my seat, I thought someone had put rocks into my pockets - it took me a while to realise that actually I'd probably just eaten my own bodyweight in cheese-soaked snacks, and hence had to readjust to my new stomach which was clearly growing a cheese baby, (obviously named Baby-Bel) who was going to be born encased in an easy-to-remove red wax sheath and pop out singing that Ba-ba-ba-ba-Babybel song from the advert whilst wearing a cheesy grin..............aaaaaargh!!!!! Oh, it's ok - its just a horrendous, torturous hallucination of a nightmare, brought on by an overdose of cheese.... phew.
Needless to say - I won't be having fondue for a while......
Raclette anyone?
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1 comments:
Hi, just came across your blog. I am a Swiss but lived in the US for the past 14 years. Maybe nobody told you or knew, but you HAVE to drink black tea along with a fondue in order not to feel nauseated by the cheese. It works miracles. And the Kirsch (cherry liqueur) also helps to digest the cheese. Give it another try :)
Best,
Monica
San Francisco
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